Mothers Day

This day was bitter sweet. I was so excited to share our recent pregnancy news with our parents. Keeping this huge secret from my mother was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We are very close and speak almost every day. I ordered some really cute necklaces for the moms. The necklaces had the words “baby on the way” printed on them along with November’s birth stone. I waited all day Saturday for the mail to show up. But it never did. I cleaned the house on Saturday and shopped for the upcoming BBQ. I can’t believe I had to cook. We always go out to dinner for mother’s day but this year my mother in law didn’t want to. Something about not wanting to be rushed. She didn’t offer to cook, my mom did, but I couldn’t let her do that, so I offered. I cooked, cleaned and prepared for Sunday. Saturday night I ran out to Buy Buy Baby to find a last minute gift. I found the perfect picture frame. Silver with the words “I love my Grandma” printed on the bottom. That night I took the only ultrasound photos that I had and placed them perfectly inside the frame. I woke up early Sunday morning and went out to buy some flowers and a card and wrapping paper. I wanted everything ready and perfect for when the parents showed up. I set the table, showered and before I knew it they were at the house a 2:30. Of course my father in law had to work and didn’t show up until 4 pm, so because of that I had to wait to give the moms their gift. I wanted to give it to them as soon as they walked in but I wanted the whole family to be there so we waited for my father in law. As soon as he walked it I said, “Let’s do gifts now!!” I ran upstairs and got the flowers and the neatly wrapped frames. Chris grabbed the camera and we presented the mothers with their mother’s day gift. Immediately my mother says,” I think I have an idea of what this is? Is this a repeat of Fathers day?” My mother in law thought the same thing. They loved the frames. They were very happy and excited but not surprised at all. I thought I would have been overcome by joy and excitement but I just felt nothing, kind of sad. I was happy for the moms, maybe this time they will become grandmothers. I was just sad for myself. This was suppose top be my first mothers day!!! I should have been eating in a fancy restaurant holding and feeding my baby. Instead, I cooked, cleaned entertained and did the best I could to try to surprise them. The day went exactly as I had planned and before I knew it they were on there way home with smiles on their faces and their picture fames in their hands. I went strait to the couch, now feeling completely emotionless, just waiting to go to bed. I knew I would feel better in the morning.