One year ago today

One year ago today I walked into Hackensack hospital an expecting mother and walked out five hours later childless. I will never forget my 16 week appointment. I was so excited. I couldn't believe I had a baby growing inside me. Chris was working nights so I went to the appointment myself. The nurse Nancy read all my vital signs and asked me how I was feeling. I immediatly said that this was the best pregnancy ever and if it contines like this I will be extremely happy and blessed. I spoke to soon. I went in to the exam room and waited for Dr. Gallo. He put the heart beat doppler on my belly and there was no sound. He moved it around saying sometimes its hard to find. After five minutes of not finding the heart beat he said lets do an ultrasound. The nurse came in and asked me to drink some water, but I already knew. I called Chris panicing. The nurse said not to get all worked up. The Dr. did the ulrsasound and I saw my little baby all crawled up in a ball not moving. He than did an internal ultrasound and nothing. Dr. Gallo confimred fetal demise. I was so upset I didn't know what to do, so he called Chris for me. I got dressed and they walked me into another room. Dr. Gallo wanted a second optinion so he made an appointment for me the next morning at the MRI place around the corner from my house. I just cried the rest of the day. the hardest part was telling my parents. My fathe was so upset he just yelled on the phone. The next day we went for our second optinion, and the couldn't find the heartbeat either. We went back to Dr. gallo and had a meeting him and he explained what would happen next. We made an appointment at the hopital for 5pm the next day. This was the longest day of my life. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to expect. We got the hospital at five and left befor 10pm. In less than five hours my baby was taken from me. I will never know what he looked like or smelled like. He would have been six months only now and I miss him so much.
I love you, I miss you and I know you are looling after your sibling...so thank you.

No induction for me!!!!!

I went to the hematologist yesterday and after waiting over an hour, Dr. Weintraub informed me that at 36 weeks he will switch me over to heprin and I will be able to go into labor naturally. I kind of have mixed feeling about this. I am glad that i will be able to experience the natural process of labor but I was hoping that I could be induced early.I am a planner and I would have loved to know when I would be having this baby. Now the waiting is going to kill me!!! I just hope I have the baby before thanksgiving. I would hate for this child to have to celebrate its birthday on a holiday.
Last night Chris and I went to our first prenatal class. It was as good as I expected. The lady that teaches the class is a seventy year old australian women. She was very nice and funny. She discussed alot about preterm labor and th4e various stages of labor. We also went over some relaxation techniques. Chris seemed into it and said he found it interesting. Only five more classes and thirteen weeks to go!!!1

Week 25 and a great Dr.'s appointment!!!

I went for my 25 week appointment today. Chris couldn't make it because he was working the day shift. That was the great news I received last week. He had know for two months that he was going to be working the day shift perminately and didn't tell me until last week. I am so excited. Its been almost 9 years!!! Eating dinner alone every night is no fun!!! Anyway, so he was not able to get to the appointment and I didn't want to reschedule. I gained 19 pounds in total, my blood pressure and urine were good. Nancy, the nurse gave me information on how to preregister and cord blood banking. I also have to go for the diabestes test in three weeks and she gave me the paper work for that. Dr. just check my stomach and the babys heart beat. He said the head was down and the feet are by my lungs. The heart beat was stong and the baby is measuring in the 88 percentile which means there is no growth restiction. I asked about my choppy placenta and he was not concerned and I also asked about the fibroid that was near my cervix. He said it was really small and that the baby will probably push it out. He also told me that at 36 week Dr. weintraub will make a decision on if I should be kept on lovenox or switch over to heprin. I am hopig they keep me on lovenox and induce me. Maybe they will induce me early. I would love to have the baby the week before Thanksgiving. If they switch me over to heprin that I can go into labor on my own and who know when that will happen. As long as the baby isn't born on Thanksgiving day!!! So, it was a great appointment and I got a lot of information so I left thrilled and relieved!!!!

He felt the baby move!

Its monday morning, back to work after a lovely weekend. Chris and I spent Saturday afternoon floating around our neighbors pool while they were on vacation. At around five o'clock we we drove to Seaside for dinner. The boardwalk was packed. We ate at our favorite seafood place. We had clams and muscles and Chris had a huge soft shell crab sandwhich. After dinner we walked up and down the boardwalk for a while. I was not feeling so well. I think it was the way the baby was sitting, but I just felt like I had a lot of pressure. I even ended up peeing 4 times in less than an hour. Needless to say, we didn't stay very long. We slept at my parent houses. The night was long especially since I was hot and uncomfortable. We got up early the next morning but the weather was crappy. Dad made us breakfast and not long after I was sitting on the couch when the baby started kicking. I didn't think Chris would be able to feel it but I grabed his had any way and the baby gave a nice big kick at the same time. My mom was watching and we both started laughting. Chris's face was priceless. It was a look of shock, excitement, discust and fear all at the same time!! Mom rushed over also and felt the baby move. It was awesome!!! A day I will never forget. We drove home later that after noon in the rain. Our neighbors Vinny and Roseanna come over to chat. They just got back from their vacation in south carolina. They shared some really exciting news. they are pregnant. 10 weeks along and everything looks good. I am really excited for them. She is due March 1st. I will still be home on maternity leave when she has the baby. Our kids will be in the same grade together. Being able to share this journey with them will be so much fun!!!!