One year ago today

One year ago today I walked into Hackensack hospital an expecting mother and walked out five hours later childless. I will never forget my 16 week appointment. I was so excited. I couldn't believe I had a baby growing inside me. Chris was working nights so I went to the appointment myself. The nurse Nancy read all my vital signs and asked me how I was feeling. I immediatly said that this was the best pregnancy ever and if it contines like this I will be extremely happy and blessed. I spoke to soon. I went in to the exam room and waited for Dr. Gallo. He put the heart beat doppler on my belly and there was no sound. He moved it around saying sometimes its hard to find. After five minutes of not finding the heart beat he said lets do an ultrasound. The nurse came in and asked me to drink some water, but I already knew. I called Chris panicing. The nurse said not to get all worked up. The Dr. did the ulrsasound and I saw my little baby all crawled up in a ball not moving. He than did an internal ultrasound and nothing. Dr. Gallo confimred fetal demise. I was so upset I didn't know what to do, so he called Chris for me. I got dressed and they walked me into another room. Dr. Gallo wanted a second optinion so he made an appointment for me the next morning at the MRI place around the corner from my house. I just cried the rest of the day. the hardest part was telling my parents. My fathe was so upset he just yelled on the phone. The next day we went for our second optinion, and the couldn't find the heartbeat either. We went back to Dr. gallo and had a meeting him and he explained what would happen next. We made an appointment at the hopital for 5pm the next day. This was the longest day of my life. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to expect. We got the hospital at five and left befor 10pm. In less than five hours my baby was taken from me. I will never know what he looked like or smelled like. He would have been six months only now and I miss him so much.
I love you, I miss you and I know you are looling after your sibling...so thank you.