Camille Celine Fionda is here!

I just got home from the hospital last night and today was my first day with a little free time to write and update you all. So my birth story goes like this. As you all know my water broke on Thursday morning at 7am. I got up from the bed and felt like I am peeing on myself and ran to the bathroom. I called my husband and he came home from work and took me to my OB at 10 am. My OB did the strip test for amniotic fluid and it came back negative. I felt like a fool but I knew that something was going on because I was starting to have contractions. Anyway, my OB decided to check my anyway and when he did my water broke all over him and the table!! So, he sent me strait to the hospital. We got there at 1015 and waited almost an hour in the waiting room because of the stupid security guard. When the nurse came to find me and i explained to her what was going on she just kept apologizing. Once I got into the L&D room they check me and I was only a finger tip dilated. They started high doses of pitocin right away and by 4pm I was contracting every minute. I couldn't take the pain anymore and asked for an epidural which I had to wait for because I was the 4th women to ask. There were 45 babies born that day so there were lots of moms asking for pain medication. Anyway, with my sever anxiety and claustrophobia I absolutely hated be confined to the bed and was not able to relax or get any sleep. Thank God my sister and husband were there to keep my mind occupied. So, I was in labor for 23 hours, every time they check me I only dilated a half centimeter. By the time 5 am rolled around they decided to do a c-section. This was my biggest fear and when I got the news I cried like a baby and refused to go into surgery. I obviously lost that battle, but amazingly once I got into the OR I calmed down, they moved me to the table and she was born with in minutes. I've never felt so calm. She was born 6:10am Friday the 13th weighting 7 pounds 10 ounces and 20.5 inches long. She looks like me when I was first born. She ended up getting jaundice on Saturday and had to spend 24 hours in then nursery and on Sunday they found a heart murmur so she had a ekg and sonogram of her heart. Turns out she has a little hole but Dr.'s believe that it will correct itself. We came home from the hospital last night and today was my first day with her and I can not get enough of her. She is perfect, I have never been so much in love!!!

Two and a half weeks to go!!!

I am sitting at work in extreme pain hoping that writing on my blog will help keep my mind off of it. For the last two days I have had terrible back pain, I think I have a pinched nerve or something because the pain is in the same little spot and it feels like someone is holding a knife to it. I had a massage yesterday which was wonderful but it still didn't help. I took a bath and had my husband rub my back until his hand went numb but nothing seems to help. Sitting in these uncomfortable chairs a work definglity does not help. Thankfully I only have three more working days left and 2 and a half weeks before my dues date.
So, I really have a feeling that this baby is not coming anytime soon. Last week we met with DR. Gallo. He checked me and I was not dialated, not effaced and he said the babys head was down but it was up in Canada. This week Dr. Gallo is in Boca on vacation, lucky him, so we only saw the ultrasound technition. My husband was not able to make it so my mom came along and I am so glad she did. The baby's head is down but still not in the pelvis. We were able to see chubby cheeks and a round face. The baby was sucking on its thumb and the rest of the fingers were resting on its nose. We saw cute fat stubby fingers like mommys and a big belly!!! According to the ulrasound machine the baby is weight in at 7 pounds 11 ounces. I gues this is going to be a eight pound baby. I need to find out Carters return policy. I bought newborn clothes but they only fit up to 8 pounds. I guess I am going to have to return them. The babys heartbeat was 164. My mother in law is obsessed with the heartbeat. She thinks that she can tell the sex by how fast the heartbeat is. I know that is a myth but I humor her anyway. I have gained a totlay of 28 pounds and my blood pressure has been perfect. Except for having to stick a needle in my stomach every day, this pregnancy has been perfect. Last week I went to see Dr. Weintraub the hematologist. He switched me from Lovenox to Heparing. Two needles a day, but now I can go into labor on my own. He also told me that I have to go back on the lovenox 24 hours after delivery for a total of 8 weeks. I am not so happy about that but by then I will have my precious baby in my arms so it won't matter so much.
The nursery is finished and I love how it came out. The wall are a little plain so I need to get a few more decorations, but other than that I love it. I furiture is beautiful, the colors are perfect. I will take picutres this weekend and upload them as soon as I can. We installed the car seat last week and my hospital bag is packed. I am ready, I just wish the baby felt the same way!!!

34 weeks 4 days.

I can't believe how fast a year goes buy. I remeber Oct. 15 2008 like it was yesterday. It was just a few weeks before that I had learned what Oct. 15 and Rememberane day was. It was the day that I truly realized that I was not alone. The women that I met on babycenter in the second trimester loss board helped me get through some of the tough days, but i didn't realize how many women there were out in the world that have suffered a loss. Oct. 15, 2008 I lit my canle at 7pm and cried the night away. This year, Oct. 15 was a little different. I am 34 weeks pregnant and I had an OB appointent at 6:30pm. We waited almost an hour to see the OB. By the time we got out of there we were starvng and went for chinese food. Needless to say I never go the chance to light my candle at 7pm, but I will be lighing it all weekend. The whole day was bitter sweet. I thought about the baby I lost while feeling the baby inside me kick and squirm. I don't get sad any more. I find it hard to be sad when I have so much to greatful for. My OB appointment went well. The baby is measuring a week a head. Dr. said this is a perfect pregnancy. I didn't gain any more weight, blood pressure and urine are perfect. I feel great, sleep well, and are still very comfortable. My husband is amazing, my parents and sister are excited, my friends and coworkers have been extrememly supportive, the women on the ttc after a second trimester loss board are amazing..... Life right now almost seems perfect. I just hope it lasts!
So anyway. Last year we went to the feast of St. Gerard the weekend of Oct. 15th. the feast was wonderful. There were many Italian women, pregnant or trying to conceive all praying for their rainbow baby. It was very sad to see but at the same time I felt a sense of belonging and joy. I knew that if I prayed to St. Gerard long and hard enought that he would make sure that this baby makes it. I truly bleive he is the reason why I have made it to 34 weeks. I can not wait to go to the feast tomorrow and pay my respects. I will be there rain or shine. I plan to donate a large sum of money to St, Lucys church in Newark, NJ. I also plan to light candles for all the women I know who are trying to have their rainbow babies and for the women on babycenter who I have come to love. I am also secretly looking forward to eating an Italian hotdog...yummy!!!

Me and my sister

I decided to ask my sister to be in the Labor and Devivery room with me. I know my husband will be a great support for me, but I just feel like he is going to need some support and my sister is the best person to do that.

Me at 33 weeks!

One year ago today

One year ago today I walked into Hackensack hospital an expecting mother and walked out five hours later childless. I will never forget my 16 week appointment. I was so excited. I couldn't believe I had a baby growing inside me. Chris was working nights so I went to the appointment myself. The nurse Nancy read all my vital signs and asked me how I was feeling. I immediatly said that this was the best pregnancy ever and if it contines like this I will be extremely happy and blessed. I spoke to soon. I went in to the exam room and waited for Dr. Gallo. He put the heart beat doppler on my belly and there was no sound. He moved it around saying sometimes its hard to find. After five minutes of not finding the heart beat he said lets do an ultrasound. The nurse came in and asked me to drink some water, but I already knew. I called Chris panicing. The nurse said not to get all worked up. The Dr. did the ulrsasound and I saw my little baby all crawled up in a ball not moving. He than did an internal ultrasound and nothing. Dr. Gallo confimred fetal demise. I was so upset I didn't know what to do, so he called Chris for me. I got dressed and they walked me into another room. Dr. Gallo wanted a second optinion so he made an appointment for me the next morning at the MRI place around the corner from my house. I just cried the rest of the day. the hardest part was telling my parents. My fathe was so upset he just yelled on the phone. The next day we went for our second optinion, and the couldn't find the heartbeat either. We went back to Dr. gallo and had a meeting him and he explained what would happen next. We made an appointment at the hopital for 5pm the next day. This was the longest day of my life. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to expect. We got the hospital at five and left befor 10pm. In less than five hours my baby was taken from me. I will never know what he looked like or smelled like. He would have been six months only now and I miss him so much.
I love you, I miss you and I know you are looling after your sibling...so thank you.

No induction for me!!!!!

I went to the hematologist yesterday and after waiting over an hour, Dr. Weintraub informed me that at 36 weeks he will switch me over to heprin and I will be able to go into labor naturally. I kind of have mixed feeling about this. I am glad that i will be able to experience the natural process of labor but I was hoping that I could be induced early.I am a planner and I would have loved to know when I would be having this baby. Now the waiting is going to kill me!!! I just hope I have the baby before thanksgiving. I would hate for this child to have to celebrate its birthday on a holiday.
Last night Chris and I went to our first prenatal class. It was as good as I expected. The lady that teaches the class is a seventy year old australian women. She was very nice and funny. She discussed alot about preterm labor and th4e various stages of labor. We also went over some relaxation techniques. Chris seemed into it and said he found it interesting. Only five more classes and thirteen weeks to go!!!1

Week 25 and a great Dr.'s appointment!!!

I went for my 25 week appointment today. Chris couldn't make it because he was working the day shift. That was the great news I received last week. He had know for two months that he was going to be working the day shift perminately and didn't tell me until last week. I am so excited. Its been almost 9 years!!! Eating dinner alone every night is no fun!!! Anyway, so he was not able to get to the appointment and I didn't want to reschedule. I gained 19 pounds in total, my blood pressure and urine were good. Nancy, the nurse gave me information on how to preregister and cord blood banking. I also have to go for the diabestes test in three weeks and she gave me the paper work for that. Dr. just check my stomach and the babys heart beat. He said the head was down and the feet are by my lungs. The heart beat was stong and the baby is measuring in the 88 percentile which means there is no growth restiction. I asked about my choppy placenta and he was not concerned and I also asked about the fibroid that was near my cervix. He said it was really small and that the baby will probably push it out. He also told me that at 36 week Dr. weintraub will make a decision on if I should be kept on lovenox or switch over to heprin. I am hopig they keep me on lovenox and induce me. Maybe they will induce me early. I would love to have the baby the week before Thanksgiving. If they switch me over to heprin that I can go into labor on my own and who know when that will happen. As long as the baby isn't born on Thanksgiving day!!! So, it was a great appointment and I got a lot of information so I left thrilled and relieved!!!!

He felt the baby move!

Its monday morning, back to work after a lovely weekend. Chris and I spent Saturday afternoon floating around our neighbors pool while they were on vacation. At around five o'clock we we drove to Seaside for dinner. The boardwalk was packed. We ate at our favorite seafood place. We had clams and muscles and Chris had a huge soft shell crab sandwhich. After dinner we walked up and down the boardwalk for a while. I was not feeling so well. I think it was the way the baby was sitting, but I just felt like I had a lot of pressure. I even ended up peeing 4 times in less than an hour. Needless to say, we didn't stay very long. We slept at my parent houses. The night was long especially since I was hot and uncomfortable. We got up early the next morning but the weather was crappy. Dad made us breakfast and not long after I was sitting on the couch when the baby started kicking. I didn't think Chris would be able to feel it but I grabed his had any way and the baby gave a nice big kick at the same time. My mom was watching and we both started laughting. Chris's face was priceless. It was a look of shock, excitement, discust and fear all at the same time!! Mom rushed over also and felt the baby move. It was awesome!!! A day I will never forget. We drove home later that after noon in the rain. Our neighbors Vinny and Roseanna come over to chat. They just got back from their vacation in south carolina. They shared some really exciting news. they are pregnant. 10 weeks along and everything looks good. I am really excited for them. She is due March 1st. I will still be home on maternity leave when she has the baby. Our kids will be in the same grade together. Being able to share this journey with them will be so much fun!!!!

Exhausted!

I am sitting here absolutely exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open. Its been a long time since I up dated my blog and I was hopng that this would keep me awake. I am now at the end of 23 weeks and looking forward to next week and viability!!! I haven't seen Dr. Gallo since June 9th. Its been a long time. My next appointment is August 13th. I will be 25 weeks and I a curious to hear what he has to say. Our last sonogram was on July 14th. I thought we wouel have been in the office for at least 45 minutes but the sonographer was really fast so we were in and out in 20 minutes. She said the baby looks great measuring a week a head. My placenta looks choppy, I don't know what that means but it moved from covering my cervix which was good news. She did find another fibroid which is near my cervix so she said that will have to be watched. Hopefully it will not be in the way of having a vaginal birth. The whole choppy placenta thing makes me nervous. Does is mean that my placenta is not function well? I guess I will have to ask Dr. Gallo.
So, Chris and I decided to find out the sex of the baby... I can't say just in case my mother is reading my blog. After we found out i cried like a baby. I really didn't care what the sex was but once I found out I couldn't help but crying. I don't know if I was crying because I was happy or sad or just excited and overwhelmed. Eihter way, I am absolutly thirlled with the sex and wouldn't change it for the world. I did start feeling the baby kick and it its the most amazing feeling. The baby doesn't kick often, mostly after I eat. I love the way it feels and can't wait to start feeling it on a regular basis. I am sure in the next few weeks i will be feeling it kick all day!!! Chris and I started thinkin of names. I rambled off about 100 names to him and he only like one so so far that is what we re going with. I think family and friends will love it. This past weekend was Chris' birthday and we celebrated on Monday night. Chris turned 36. We spent the weekend down the shore and went out for dinner to Mundo Latino our favorie spanish restaurant. last week I went shopping with Mom for cribs. We went to Crib and Teen and i did see some stuff I liked. We will have to order it right after we get back from Maryland. Tonight I am going for another vital leg massage, this weekend we are going down the shore and then we leave for Ocean City Maryland on the 14th. I am looking forward to getting away for a bit.

Its been a rainy quiet week.

Its friday and its literally rained every day this week. I don't remember the last time we had a spring like this. The temperature at night has been in the 50's and 60's.!! Honestly, I am not complaining because i know for sure that i am going to be miserable when the heat hits. I am going to enjoy the comfort for as long as I can.
So after last weeks torn ligament episode I decided that there was no way I would make it 5 weeks with out know if this baby was OK, so I order a hear beat doppler. It's called Angelsounds. It arrived Saturday morning and it works great. It does not count the heart beat but I was able to find it and hear it perfectly clear. I started to panic a little bit when I couldn't find it at first so I decided that I wouldn't check every day. With Chris not being home I don't want to freak out at night if I can't find it. So, I asked Chris to hide it and I will only check on weekend! Tomorrow Saturday and I can't wait to check again.
My belly is getting bigger and I am having a hard time fitting into my clothes. Thank God for the Bella Band, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to use it. I was looking up maternity clothes when I came across a website for a massage place called Edamame. Its located in Paramus on route 4. I decided to go check it out. Its actually located inside Destination Motherhood. Edamame is a very small massage area that caters to just pregnant women. They offer differnt massages and treatments. I check out the place and thought it was very clean. I also looked very calm and relaxing just like a spa should. I booked myself the Vital Leg Treatment. Its a customized leg treatment that reduces water retention and provides an instant lightness and freshness to tired and swollen feet while increasing circulation and restoring energy to fatigued legs. It ends with a relaxing shoulder and scalp massage! I can't wait!!! After I booked the appointment a sales women broughtme some water and asked me if I was shopping for anything specific. I told her I could use some bras. Well she measured me and these boob are out of control. I think she measured me as a 40E!!! The store doesn't carry that size but the plus size section had some 42d and DD. I tried them on and hated them. I bought one but I don't why i did. I am use to warting my minimizer which hold them up firm and tight. These bras provide no support at all. I then decided to try on some tops. I am running out of clothes to wear to work. I walked around for what seemed like an hour before I picked somthing out to try on. I tried on three tops an a dress. All the ops had th elsastic under the boobs and made me look like I had two cannons on my chest and that I was 8 months pregnant. The dress looked horrible. I left the room crying for my mommy. I guess I am just not mentally prpared for this. I am not comfortable showing off these large breast. I have been wearing a minimizer for as long as I can remember!! After my 20 week appointment my mom is going to help me shop. I just hope I am feeling better by then adn these boobs don't get any bigger!!!!!

Its Friday!!!

Its' Friday, I'm at work and I can't wait to start the weekend. I will be sitting home tonight alone as usual. I conplain that I am alone all the time but secretly I love it. Don't get me wrong, i would love for Chris to work days and be home at night. It would be so nice to have dinner with him every night.But sometimes i just want to be alone to do what ever I want. Laugh, cry, chat on the phone, watch a chick flick or sit on the computer for hours search the web. Tonight I think I will order some food and rent a movie. I am feeling pretty good and looking forward to date night with myself.
So, our 16 week appointment went well. I lost three pounds, my blood pressure was in the normal range but a little high and Dr. Gallo was able to find the heartbeat right away with the doppler. We left and he told us to come back in 4 weeks. When we went to make the appointment the recepcionist told us that the ulrasound technition would not be in that week so we would have to come in the week later. I was a realy upset. Having to wait 4 weeks is hard, waiting five weeks is going to be torturous!!!
After the appointment i went to work. later that afteroon I started to feel terrable pain in my lower abdomen. It was about two inches below my belly button to my felt. I kept thinking it was round ligament pain, but it was in the same spot and it wouldn't go away. I had the pain all night and it kept me up. By eleven the next morning I was getting really worried. I knew the baby was Ok because I just heard its heartbeat the day before. I called Dr, Gallo and he said to come in for a urine test and that it probably was a bladder infection. So I went late that afternoon. The next came back negative. Dr. Gallo did an ultrasound and the baby look great. I was really glad that this happened because I got to see the baby. he did and internal exam and concluded that I twisted a ligament. I took the next day off of work and relaxed on the couch. He said a heating pad and and warm bath would help. The pain started to go away and I felt a little better today.

Sixteen weeks today!

Today I am 16 weeks along. Alot has happened in the past few weeks. I wish I had more time to blog and update but it always seems like I get side tracked and than forget. I can't believe how fast the past 4 weeks have gone. Everything was great until week 14. I noticed some brown spotting on my underwear. I thought maybe I was seeing things so I out a pad on and sure enought I was spotting. Surprisingly I didn't freak out. I just kept thinking to myself that brown blood is old and OK. So, I called Dr. Gallo and ofcouce he said to come in immediatly. He check me and couldn't find any blood but to be on the safe side he ordered me to stay off my feet for one week. That was the tuesday before Memorial day weekend. We had plans to go upstate that weekend. I stayed on the couch for 4 days. It was terrable. I did get to watch some great movies. By Friday I was ready to go crazy. I just don't know how some of these women on bed rest do it. We decided to go upstate. I just sat around all weekend and did nothing. The bugs were terrable to I spent most of the weekend inside. I didn't sleep well and honestly I couldn't wait to get home. It was a crappy vacation. I think I need to book a mini vacation this summer. Anyway we went back to the Dr. the day after Memorial day. Everything looks great. Dr. gallo said I have a low lying placenta and that is probably where the blood is coming from. He said if the placent doesn't more that i will probably have to have a c-section. I was not happy when I heard this. I always dreamed of having a vaginal birth and to be honest I am a little scared of the c-section. Not of the procedure itself but of being tied town to a table with a screen in from of my face. I am extremely clostraphobic and agoraphobic. Anyway, the baby looked good. My next appointment is tomorrow. We got the bad news at this appointment last time so I am extremely nervous. I feel like everything is going to be OK but I just hope I am not fooling myself. If everthing goes well I thing I will seriously consider getting dopller to get me through the next 4 weeks. I haven't felt the baby more yet and I don't think that is going to happen for a few more weeks.
Chris has been home from work for the last four weeks. It has been so nice having him home at night. He has made dinner every night and has really helped me around the house. He goes back to work today so I will be going home to an empty house. I am actually a little anxious about it. I am tired of being alone at night and actually a little scared. I'll probably stay awake until he gets home at midnight. I am not working tomorrow because of the OB appointment so I can stay awake.
This weekend we went down the shore to my parents house. The weather wasn't that great so we never made it to the beach. My clothes have been getting tight on me so my mom took me out shopping. Target and Kohls had nothing. I did get a new pair of pajamas and one shirt. My paretns really want to buy me some new clothes, so if everhthing goes well tomorrow I think I might let them. My cousin Daniel is my size and she did all her shopping at desination motherhoos so I guess I will go there. I also want to check out Edamame. Its a maternity spa!! I can really use a massage!!
Ok... keeping my fingers crossed. I will update tomorrow after my appointment.

12 Week NT Scan

I can't believe how fast the past three weeks have gone. It’s hard to believe that I am already 12 weeks pregnant. Today we had our 12 week NT scan. I was so anxious!! I asked my mother if she would like to come to the appointment with us. I knew she would. She’s never seen an ultrasound before and I knew she would find it really exciting. I asked her Sunday night after our Mothers day dinner. After I got off the phone with her Chris’s grandmother called. Chris told her our news and she started to cry. She was so happy. I started to cry, not because she was crying but because I suddenly felt really scared. I just asked my mother to come to the Dr.s with us. What if the Dr. tells us there is no heart beat while she is there? Chris’ grandmother is crying she is so excited; I just don’t want to disappoint anyone again. I was crying and telling Chris we should have waited, we shouldn’t have told anyone until after the appointment. So needless to say, Monday night I didn’t get a wink of sleep. My mom met us Tuesday morning at the Dr. I was so nervous I could throw up. I could tell my mom was nervous also. Chris was as cool as a cucumber, as always! The technician took us right away. I hoped on the table, pulled my pants down a bit, she squired the cool gew on my stomach and with in seconds I was able to tell that the baby was ok. My mom couldn’t see it, but I knew!! The technician took some measurement of my ovaries and fibroid before she really concentrated on the baby. The baby looked perfect. I can’t believer that in just three weeks it went from looking like a little blog to an actually tiny baby!!! The NT measurement was 1.3 which she said was in normal range, the heart beat was 172 and the baby was measuring a week a head which is fantastic news. I could tell my mother was relieved and she really enjoyed being there. I am so glad she came. We were done in minutes. I have some blood taken and we left. I had never been so happy. Our next appointment is in 4 weeks! This appointment will be an important one. I’ve never made it past 16 weeks so hearing a HB at our next appointment will be amazing!!! I just home the next 4 weeks go by super fast!

Mothers Day

This day was bitter sweet. I was so excited to share our recent pregnancy news with our parents. Keeping this huge secret from my mother was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We are very close and speak almost every day. I ordered some really cute necklaces for the moms. The necklaces had the words “baby on the way” printed on them along with November’s birth stone. I waited all day Saturday for the mail to show up. But it never did. I cleaned the house on Saturday and shopped for the upcoming BBQ. I can’t believe I had to cook. We always go out to dinner for mother’s day but this year my mother in law didn’t want to. Something about not wanting to be rushed. She didn’t offer to cook, my mom did, but I couldn’t let her do that, so I offered. I cooked, cleaned and prepared for Sunday. Saturday night I ran out to Buy Buy Baby to find a last minute gift. I found the perfect picture frame. Silver with the words “I love my Grandma” printed on the bottom. That night I took the only ultrasound photos that I had and placed them perfectly inside the frame. I woke up early Sunday morning and went out to buy some flowers and a card and wrapping paper. I wanted everything ready and perfect for when the parents showed up. I set the table, showered and before I knew it they were at the house a 2:30. Of course my father in law had to work and didn’t show up until 4 pm, so because of that I had to wait to give the moms their gift. I wanted to give it to them as soon as they walked in but I wanted the whole family to be there so we waited for my father in law. As soon as he walked it I said, “Let’s do gifts now!!” I ran upstairs and got the flowers and the neatly wrapped frames. Chris grabbed the camera and we presented the mothers with their mother’s day gift. Immediately my mother says,” I think I have an idea of what this is? Is this a repeat of Fathers day?” My mother in law thought the same thing. They loved the frames. They were very happy and excited but not surprised at all. I thought I would have been overcome by joy and excitement but I just felt nothing, kind of sad. I was happy for the moms, maybe this time they will become grandmothers. I was just sad for myself. This was suppose top be my first mothers day!!! I should have been eating in a fancy restaurant holding and feeding my baby. Instead, I cooked, cleaned entertained and did the best I could to try to surprise them. The day went exactly as I had planned and before I knew it they were on there way home with smiles on their faces and their picture fames in their hands. I went strait to the couch, now feeling completely emotionless, just waiting to go to bed. I knew I would feel better in the morning.

9 Weeks!

This appointment came very fast. I guess it was a little less than two weeks. The appointment only took a few minutes. My blood pressure was good and I gained one pound. I told him if was from all the Jelly beans! The Dr. did an ultrasound. The baby still looks like a little blob, but much bigger. We saw the chambers of the heart pumping and the baby was squiriming around. The Dr. said everything looks really good. I asked him if he sees a difference between this pregnancy and the last one and of course he said no. This concerns me but there is nothing i can do about it. Anyway he said to stay away from the Jelly beans and come back in three weeks from the NT. I was a little upset when he said come back in 3 weeks becaue in my mind I was going to see him every other week, but the NT needs to be done at 12 weeks so I have no choice but to wait. Three weeks is a long time!! I was throwing the idea of getting a doppler around and decided to ask the girls on babycenter.com. It seems to me there are mixed feelings about it. I think it would help to ease my worries during the next three weeks but I can't help but think that I would feak out if I couldn't find the heart beat. Espcially since I am home at night by myself. I also think I would become a little obsessed with it. I am still not opposed to the idea, I guss I will just have to see how I feel over the next couple of weeks.
Overall, it was a good appointment. Chris and I than went to Bobby Flays new burger place which was excellant!! I think I will be sending Chris there often for take out!! I had the best night sleep last night. Usually I am up most of the night because of my stuffy nose. I went to be with reenforcements, humidifier, saline spray, used the netti post, vix under my nose and a nasal strip on top. I know it seems a little excessive but it worked and I was albe to sleep 10 hours!!! I forgot to set the alarm and slept until 8am!!! HopefullY I will get many nights of good sleep over the next seven months!

I love my OB!!

So last night we went to see my OB, Dr. Gallo. I was so nervous about seeing him since I haven't seen him since the D&C and the last time we spoke he had deliverd such terrble news. As soon as I walked in the nurse smiled at me. She remember who I was and it seemed like she was happy I was back. She called us in right way. She took down all my new information. I explained to her about the blood thinner and Dr. Alvarez. She took my blood pressure and my weight and than told me my due date is Nov.23rd. Just in time for Thanksgiving and hunting season. Chris is thrilled. She walked us to the room and congratulated us. By then I was starting to feel much better. Dr. Gallo walked in the room talking as usual. He is so kind and compassionate!!! He was happy to see us and congratulated us as well. He didn't ask many questions about my 6 months journey. He was happy about the blood thinner and baby aspirin. He said I can also take a regular vitamin instead of a prenatal since I am taking so much folic acid. He said he wants me to take in real easy for the first 12 weeks. No cleaning, no exercising, no lifting and if I start to spot again he is going to put me on bed rest for 24 hours. I am not complaining! He wants to see me every other week until the second trimester. I wish I could see him every week, but every other makes me happy as well. He will also determin when I will go back to Dr. Alvarez. After we did all of our conversing he turned on the ultrasound machine. I got a really nervous feeling in my stomach. I guess that is going to happen every time I have an u/s or when the Dr. checks for a heart beat with the doppler. He found the baby right away. He said the sack was perfectly round and the baby looked really good. The heart beat was 140 and we got to hear it this time. It was amazing. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face. He also said my fibroids are no where near the baby and he didn't think they would be a problem. He really took his time with us and I appreciated it. Neeless to say we left the office feeling really good!!!! Its the best I have felt in the past 6 months! I can't wait to go back on Monday.

We Got a Heart Beat. 122!!!!

Today I had my first MFM appointment. I have been dreading this day all week. After spotting on Satuday day I had convinced myself that there would be no heart beat. Chris to me to the Dr. at 0930. We waited just a few minutes before we were called in. The tecnition took us right away for the ultra sound. He had asked me a few questions and once he saw my stomach and the bright purple brusies he asked me if this was my first pregnany. I politely said no. He asked how many children I had at home and I politely said none. He than said he was very sorry and asked me how far along I was when i lost my baby. Its been a while siince any one had asked me about my loss. It stirred up so many emotions, but he was very kind and polite and he kept telling me how sorry he was and just before I was about to burst into tears he told me he sees the heart beating. He said the baby was too small and the frequesncy ws too low for us to hear it, but he was able to see it and he showed me it on the monitor. 122 beats per minute. He probably spent around 20 minutes taking lots of picutres of the baby and the the two fibroids he found.
After the u/s we went back into the waiting room for what seemed like an hour. I thought I was going in for a physical exam but the nurse brought me into the Dr. office. After a few minutes of silence he asked why I had scheduled an OB appointment. I was taken back a little. I explainted to him that his receptionist told me that I would be seeing him exculsively and that I didn't have to see my OB. He said that was crazy and that I shlould make an appointment to see my OB with in the next few weeks. Thank God I had already made an appointment for next week. He said that my OB, Dr. Gallo is the boss and if he wants to deliver me he can unless he feels like I would be in better hands witht the MFM. I was so happy to hear this. I love Dr. Gallo and dreamed of him delivering my baby. The. MFM Dr. Alvarez said everything looked good except my fibroids. I was shoked to hear him say this becuase i have alwsy been told that fiborids were not a big deal. I think my Frioend Eleonora has 2 huge ones and her pregnancy was fine. I also mentioned the fact that he had previously said he would put me on prednisone. Well he didn't have that in his notes and he didn't think it was a great idea. This really concerns me and I will have to bring it up with Dr. gallo once I see him next week. Dr. Alvarez really didn't say anything else. I have an appointment with a Hemotologist tomorrow. I don't know what kind of test he is going to do but it should be interesting.
So, I guess the appointment went well and I should be really excited, but I just feel OK. Maybe I'll feel better after I speak to Dr. Gallo.

We did it!!!! We got a BFP!

It’s been two weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I’ve wanted to blog but I was afraid that if I put it in writing it would jinx it and honestly with all the Dr. appointment and running around I just haven’t had the time.
So, I found out the day before my birthday. My fertility friend chart was looking awesome and all the girls from BBC were really getting my hopes up. That Saturday morning was 14dpo. I used the first response pregnancy test and got a BFP. There was no guessing. There were two very dark lines. I walked into the bedroom and woke up Chris with the good news. It was a wonderful birthday gift! Sunday we went to Atlantic City. I got a free room at Cesar’s and I had booked dinner at Budakan. The rooms were wonderful and the bed was so comfortable. Dinner was amazing. We couldn’t stop licking our fingers. It would have been nice to have a drink. Chris had a Mie tie and he was nice enough to give me his cherry. Reality sank it when I realized I couldn’t have a drink. No drinking, no smoking and no hot tub!! It’s going to be a very long summer, but so worth it!!
So, after our fun weekend I called my high risk Dr. to make an appointment. He had said to come in immediately once I found out I am pregnant. Well the receptionist booked my appointment for April 2nd. After arguing with her she said I could come in for blood work that Friday, which I did. So, Friday March 20th I got a phone call in the afternoon from one of the nurses’ congratulation me and telling me my numbers looked really good. I mentioned to her what the Dr. had to me about the blood thinner and she said to come in on Monday for more blood work and she would talk to the Dr. then. I went in Monday morning and reminded the nurse and she went right into the Dr. office. He said if my number went up that day that I should start the blood thinner the following day. So I got a call the following day from the nurse. My numbers had tripled and she wanted me to come in and get my prescription and instruction for the lovenox. I went in at 2:30. Chris came with me because I was so nervous. I thought she was going to make me inject the shot right there and then, but she didn’t. The instruction took 5 minutes and we left. I went strait to the pharmacist and had the prescription filled. I head heard horror stories about how expensive Lovenox was. To my surprise it was on $17 for a three month prescription. I was extremely thrilled.
Tuesday night I went about with my normal routine and than at 10 pm I grab my glass of water with ice and headed upstairs to bed. I iced my stomach for a few minutes, cleaned the area with the rubbing alcohol and stuck the needle in. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I only got a tiny little bruise. I was thinking… I can totally do this!!! This is easy!! Everything is going to work out. I felt great.
The next night I did the same thing but this time the needle pinched going in and than stung like hell for 10 minutes. I was crying on the phone with Chris. I can’t do this for 9 months!!! I have a huge purple bruise on my stomach the size of a half-dollar. The next few nights weren’t as bad. I have bruises all around my belly button. Not very attractive, but I guess if this works it will be worth it!

I had a bit of a scare this weekend. Chris and I did a lot of running around and than we had sex in the afternoon on Saturday. Saturday night after dinner I went to the bathroom and I saw brown blood on the toilet paper. I freaked out and started crying. I thought it was the start of a miscarriage. All these terrible thoughts went through my head. I kept thinking this was it. If I lose this baby there is no hope for the future. This treatment I am on is my only hope. If it does work we have to discuss other options. I not mentally ready for that. The blood went away and I just had some light cramping. I spent the rest of Satruday and most of Sunday on the couch. I guess I have to wait until Thursday to find out if everything is OK. Its our first ultrasound. I don’t know if its too early to hear the heart beat but I am praying that we do. I’ll fell much better than.